Buy Tape Rite

Tired of the same old daily grind? Looking for a career change? It’s easier than you think. You may be ready to enter the exciting world of adhesive tape. Well how? Buy TAPE-RITE!! Not buy from TAPE-RITE, but buy the whole company.

Think about it. You can become the next Dr. Tape!! The world’s leading expert on adhesive tape and its application. You will earn the adoration of thousands of desperate customers, some of whom will show their appreciation in very exciting ways.

How do you achieve this level of immortality? Simple, just radically overpay for my business and you get the whole shebang lock, stock and barrel. Plus you get me (for a little while) to impart decades of knowledge to you and your staff.

You get everything. The name, the inventory, the knowledge, the workers (taped to their desks) and the ultimate benefit, how to party like a tape star!! Imagine the possibilities.

So come on, what are you waiting for? Call now, make an obscenely high offer and its all yours.